Friday, April 29, 2016

I'm high on drugs and life. Ask me how.

The other day I was having a conversation with my mother and she spontaneously started crying and wouldn't tell me why. It took me a couple of days to figure out what happened, but I'm pretty sure that when someone cries and doesn't tell you why it means they are embarrassed for the reason. Was it something I said?

What I realised I had said was kind of textbook autism. She asked me off the cuff who my male role models were, and in my typical way I immediately deconstructed the question and fed back to her, "What's the relevance of men?"

My mother has always been a feminist. I have always supported her in what she believes, but I was always open with her in my lack of a complete agreement with her feminism. I told her that I disagree with any discrimination, even discrimination done for a just reason. She insists that feminism is about equality which requires giving women specifically better treatment, and I can't not see this as having discrimination at the core of it.

I think that my mother realised when I asked my question that she had not ever answered it for me. She was expecting me to demonstrate a specific social preference because that's just how men are naturally. In this instance the specific autism was hers. I had inherited it from her, and she saw it clearly as soon as I reflected it back for her.

Male exceptionalism may be a rational flaw, but it is also a valuable source of strength.

Male competition tears apart relationships, but it also drives us to be more powerful.

The male identity has been damaged by feminism.

As a man, totally not judging, because we've probably done worse overall, but I feel like this is something we might need to try to agree on. So we can just move on. No biggie, we all make the occasional lapse in judgement when we get oppressed for centuries.

Or maybe I'm just telling myself a very compelling story and this is really all about me. I find it hard to tell sometimes. I've been smoking this amazing strain of weed called Blueberry and it's just the most psychedelic stuff I've ever had outside of actual psychedelics. I saw beauty. The silence and the cold. I saw worlds burning. I saw the birth of a star. I saw something more than destruction. We have destroyed a million stars. Millions and millions, if you can count. And yet new stars are born every time. Resistance is futile. Life returns. Life prevails. I saw a star being born and I learned something.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Life is a joke, so make sure you're in on it.

Crossing the line. Breaking the barrier. This is powerful. You have boundaries to what you see yourself as capable of. When you break one of these barriers, you grow as a person.

To meaningfully break a barrier is probably one of those things that gets progressively harder to achieve the more space one inhabits within ones understood universe. There must be a decision to be made about whether to focus on growing yourself or growing the size your universe.

I feel like I learn more about humans from watching their mating behaviour than from anything else. 

It's the same joke over and over. The joke was that we thought it wasn't all about sex. 

I think I figured out the meaning of the female orgasm. It's meaningless. Pleasure for pleasure's sake. They can do it as much or as little as they feel like. Men can make no claim to this lack of function. All we do must serve the one true purpose. We live to die. Or to kill. Or to be the one that survives? We um, we go home and fuck the prom queen. Yeah, that sounds right.

This is the most fundamental difference between women and men; the climax. Freedom and responsibility. Progress and conservatism. Pointlessness and Death. Life is the thing that creates space in between these universal concepts. The fact that space exists is less interesting than the shapes that the space creates.

People say women are less funny than men. Well, they aren't. Except for that in reality they are. But you have to understand that in a historical context blah blah blah see this is why; in a universe where nothing exists independent of context, everything is connected with everything else, except for in the ways that they aren't.

That was the punchline.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

On anuses

Many if not most people dislike or are ashamed of their anuses.

We associate them with shit, which at first glance seems fair enough, but also misses the point completely. That shit doesn't come from your anus, it comes from you. That shit is you. It's all the useless garbage you consumed without realising it was garbage, and which would literally kill you if your body couldn't shit it out.

Your anus does exactly the opposite of what you think it does. Your anus keeps your shit in. Every single one of us has shit inside us right now. Your anus exists to give you the ability to keep it to yourself.

Have you ever seen a fish shit? They make do with a very simple cloaca. They eat food, get whatever combination of matter they use to fuel themselves out of it, and the rest comes almost immediately out the other end in a long translucent trail. And it just becomes part of the water.

Anyone who's ever dealt with aquariums will tell you the nitrogen levels in the water need to be maintained. What they're talking about is that aquarium fish literally swim in their own shit, and it will literally kill them if they stay in the same water for too long.

(It's worth pointing out that this fish problem I'm describing is actually caused by us, ignorantly confining a living being in an environment which does not naturally meet its needs.)

Humans are more evolved than fish; we have anuses. We have the ability to not leave an indiscriminate trail of shit behind us as we move through life. We manage our own shit. We keep it to ourselves, and everywhere you go you will find special rooms for dealing with it in private. Have you ever noticed that the (vastly underappreciated) human need for selective privacy is also served by these rooms? We use them to manage our own shit.

Because social stigma is more damaging than anyone who practices it realises, and the person who can believe that you don't shit will probably never notice you doing it. You have your anus to thank for that.

Today's song is from 1996, Frenzal Rhomb's Punch in the Face.

Monday, February 8, 2016

That which can be explained by incompetence

The only thing that makes you wrong is thinking you're right.

People seem unable to accept how little control they have over the world around them. We invent so many insane childish rules just to resolve reality into some semblance of understandability. Reality will prove over and over and over until the end of time that nobody is immune to ignorance.

Pride precedes the fall. It doesn't matter how much is at stake or how many people are relying on your decision. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will fail in a way that nobody could possibly have anticipated. You might not understand why you failed. Maybe nobody will ever know why.

The universe is hard enough to understand that we often see genius in an improbable guess, once the guess has been proven correct. Guess right twice in a row and some people might start to think you're magic. Guess right enough times and you might even fool yourself into thinking you're magic.

Just try not to be wrong. Ever.

Because in the end we have only ourselves to blame for ever trusting someone who was in hindsight so clearly and deliberately wrong. People really need to learn to not be wrong so much of the time.

Today's song is Time Cube by Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

I hate Valor

It's a grind. It's busy work. It's a cheap way to get people to play more. It's a slapdash points system the only purpose of which is to purchase a different kind of points.

In effect, each character now needs to "unlock" 140 of the ilevels on their gear set. You get 6 ilevels worth of points for each Mythic dungeon you do, but you can only use them in chunks of 5.

I think other types of gameplay probably give you points too but I don't know what they are. Is the Raid Finder still a thing? I mean the thing everyone used to call "LFR" with such regularity that even Blizzard PR kept forgetting it was called anything else.

ilevel unlocking is also an effective nerf to offspec roles, (depending on your level of dedication) which pisses me off only slightly less than the first reason.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Forsaken spec

I used my boost on a Forsaken Hunter. I don't know if I'll end up doing any raiding, but I'm having fun running around Tanaan in greens never getting hit because Hunters are just that easy to play.

I'm also enjoying Survival before they remove the spec completely and attach the name to some new melee spec, which I suppose will probably make some attempt at thematic consistency to justify removing the other spec. I thought we didn't care about classes all having exactly three specs now? Why are hunters losing a ranged spec when they don't need to?

Maybe Blizzard is simply unable to tell an unbiased truth any more. Corporations, like a horny male on a date, always seem so very embarrassed to admit what everyone already knows their true purpose is.

Anyway if it's anyone's fault, blame those damn shareholders for forcing all the poor billion-dollar corporations to make compromises in the of name their selfish short term gains, which by coincidence happen to also be the corporation's short term gains.

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I rolled another Shaman and before I knew it she was level 50. I think it must be my second favourite class after monk. Now that I think about it those are the only two classes I got to 100 this expansion.

It's weird to realise you don't really understand what you like.

Shaman's great though. For a while Enhancement was my main raiding spec, wayy back in Icecrown. Only melee class I ever took as a "main" at any point. I used to love all the hybrid support stuff you could do, and then suddenly in Cata couldn't do.

Another two expansions worth of changes later, I feel like I'm playing the same spec again. Maybe all a melee class needs to be brilliant is a couple of extra support spells you can cast while the enemy is (and they will be at some point) out of melee range. Enhancement seems designed to grant you with a regular supply of free GCDs that you can spend on whatever OP Shaman BS you feel like at the time.

Ironcially reading about all the shitty-sounding changes Mistweavers are getting in the next expansion made me want to play Mistweaver, so I healed through all the Mythics (wat how did they ruin that word already) this week to partially upgrade the toon I still eventually hope to get back into a regular raiding gig. Item levels just got bumped up by 3 per week for the next three weeks? Something like that anyway. It's like a content nerf, but this time you need exactly 20 people to play the next level.

Exactly 20.

19 is inadequate. 21 is of course absurd.