Wednesday, February 10, 2016

On anuses

Many if not most people dislike or are ashamed of their anuses.

We associate them with shit, which at first glance seems fair enough, but also misses the point completely. That shit doesn't come from your anus, it comes from you. That shit is you. It's all the useless garbage you consumed without realising it was garbage, and which would literally kill you if your body couldn't shit it out.

Your anus does exactly the opposite of what you think it does. Your anus keeps your shit in. Every single one of us has shit inside us right now. Your anus exists to give you the ability to keep it to yourself.

Have you ever seen a fish shit? They make do with a very simple cloaca. They eat food, get whatever combination of matter they use to fuel themselves out of it, and the rest comes almost immediately out the other end in a long translucent trail. And it just becomes part of the water.

Anyone who's ever dealt with aquariums will tell you the nitrogen levels in the water need to be maintained. What they're talking about is that aquarium fish literally swim in their own shit, and it will literally kill them if they stay in the same water for too long.

(It's worth pointing out that this fish problem I'm describing is actually caused by us, ignorantly confining a living being in an environment which does not naturally meet its needs.)

Humans are more evolved than fish; we have anuses. We have the ability to not leave an indiscriminate trail of shit behind us as we move through life. We manage our own shit. We keep it to ourselves, and everywhere you go you will find special rooms for dealing with it in private. Have you ever noticed that the (vastly underappreciated) human need for selective privacy is also served by these rooms? We use them to manage our own shit.

Because social stigma is more damaging than anyone who practices it realises, and the person who can believe that you don't shit will probably never notice you doing it. You have your anus to thank for that.

Today's song is from 1996, Frenzal Rhomb's Punch in the Face.

Monday, February 8, 2016

That which can be explained by incompetence

The only thing that makes you wrong is thinking you're right.

People seem unable to accept how little control they have over the world around them. We invent so many insane childish rules just to resolve reality into some semblance of understandability. Reality will prove over and over and over until the end of time that nobody is immune to ignorance.

Pride precedes the fall. It doesn't matter how much is at stake or how many people are relying on your decision. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes you will fail in a way that nobody could possibly have anticipated. You might not understand why you failed. Maybe nobody will ever know why.

The universe is hard enough to understand that we often see genius in an improbable guess, once the guess has been proven correct. Guess right twice in a row and some people might start to think you're magic. Guess right enough times and you might even fool yourself into thinking you're magic.

Just try not to be wrong. Ever.

Because in the end we have only ourselves to blame for ever trusting someone who was in hindsight so clearly and deliberately wrong. People really need to learn to not be wrong so much of the time.

Today's song is Time Cube by Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives